Men s involvement in planning their weddings could be helpful or just a hassle
CAIRO: It s time to plan a wedding but the groom is getting involved. His interest is not just in the suit he will be wearing but in the other details as well. But what might sound at first as an endearing move on his part could be interpreted by others as meddling.
Apparently, weddings are not just about the bride anymore. Traditionally, the role of the groom was just to show up on time at the wedding. Now, this is no longer the case. In fact, it s not uncommon to hear that grooms are becoming more involved in their weddings, and are even taking charge in some cases.
That s exactly the situation with 32 year-old Ahmed Aman, who self-appointed himself as director and producer of his wedding. Even before his engagement, Aman started brainstorming about the big day. I wanted to go to the max, I wanted everything perfect and I wanted to give her everything she wanted, says Aman, an engineer who got married in February 2004.
According to Aman, his role was to get everything done and to make everything as beautiful as possible for his wife, Mona. He would be the one to urge his wife to go to the florist, DJ and photographer.
While Aman s story is rare, more grooms are taking on more responsibilities of the wedding process. Some prefer tasks such as organizing budgets, catering, music and even photography, choosing to leave the decorative arrangements to the bride.
When it comes to the decorating they are not helpful at all, says wedding planner Eman Sheta and owner of 4 Lovers Wedding Planners. And they complain – It s not important … Pick anything … What s the difference between this flower and this one? They don t have a woman s touch, she explains.
Even Aman admitted that he doesn t understand anything to do with flowers.
While Sheta mainly deals with the brides, she acknowledges that grooms do partake in some of the tasks during the wedding preparations phase. When it comes to budgeting, they are helpful, she explains, When it comes to the DJ, they are very helpful and they suggest great songs.
She encourages men to take more active roles. I think it would be great for both the bride and groom to plan a wedding together, adds Sheta.
This evolving role of the groom can be attributed to the increasing demands of today s society, which includes more women working and studying. The sharing of responsibilities has become a necessity. It s also a great way to relieve women from some of the stress of planning a wedding. Yet, some women still prefer the traditional role of grooms: Be dressed and be on time.
It can end up being a disaster, depending on the guy, says Sandra Marzouk. As a recent maid of honor, Marzouk has witnessed firsthand what trouble lurks ahead when a groom gets too involved. According to the 27 year-old finance manager, men may not share the same vision as their partners, and this can cause serious conflict between the couple. Yet, when the circumstances are right, meaning the groom is reasonable and not controlling, she agrees that it may help relieve stress for women.
So, is it a good idea to get grooms involved in weddings? Both Aman and his wife aren’t complaining about their experience. I had so much fun. I wish I can redo my wedding again, says Aman.
