Lynne Truss tackles the demise of good manners in “Talk to the Hand
There’s no escape. We’re confronted by it on a daily basis: when another driver cuts us off, when people simply refuse to stand in line at the movie theater, or dealing with rude salespeople. It’s “The Utter Bloody Rudeness of Everyday Life, which is also the subtitle of Lynne Truss’ latest book “Talk to the Hand.
Before we proceed, word of caution: Though Truss’ litany on the demise of manners will have you laughing out loud, readers have been known to relive personal experiences of rudeness, as well as the feelings of resentment and anger that accompanied them. So be forewarned.
“The moment I start describing it to people. they jump straight in with stories about all the rudeness they’ve encountered in the past ten years, the author writes in a note posted on Amazon. “‘And another thing!’ they say, banging the table. What about cell phones? What about cold callers?’
As you’re reading this, you’re most probably conjuring up a few of your own personal experiences.
Well, Truss doesn’t have the answer. Her book isn’t a guide to good manners either. It’s purpose, simply, “is to define and analyze six areas in which our dealings with strangers seem to be getting more and more unpleasant and inhuman.
While rudeness is a universal phenomenon – one that we are sadly more than familiar with in Egypt – it often feels like we’re alone in being offended by it. Surely having your dinner companion answer his mobile phone mid-conversation, leaving you to inspect the bottom of your soup bowl in the meantime, is just plain rude. And while listening in on other people’s phone conversations is ordinarily considered an invasion of privacy, if the talker is right across the table from you, then whose privacy is being encroached upon?
Truss categorizes people’s overheard conversations as follows: business conversations that, in an office setting, would be conducted behind closed doors; intimate conversations that ought to be conducted behind closed door; humdrum domestic arrangements which would keep perfectly well for later; and dross.
The upside of rudeness, however, is that it can be hilarious – if you’re the victim, then usually after the fact. During a particularly suspenseful moment of a thriller, a man seated at the theater answered his ringing mobile phone. At first he was trying to be quiet (considerate, but still annoying), but the caller, it seems, couldn’t hear him. Finally, his temper got the better of him and he yelled into the phone, “I said I can’t speak I’m in the middle of a movie.
Months later, it’s slightly humorous, but at the time it was extremely tempting to grab his phone and knock him over the head with it.
But that would be rude.
What troubles Truss more than people increasingly forgoing good manners, is their inability to accept that they are doing so. “Point out bad manners to anyone younger than thirty-five, and you risk a lash back reflex response of shocking disproportion, she writes. She dubs it “The Universal Eff-Off Reflex.
“I was standing in line at a movie theater for about 15 minutes, and just as I was about to reach the end of the line, a man cut in front of me, a friend related her woe of rudeness. “And you won’t believe what happened when I politely pointed out that he had jumped the line. His wife started shouting at me that her husband is not about to stand in a line of women. I was about to point out that she could stand in line instead if it was so offensive to her husband, but the woman standing behind me told me to just let them pass because she was scared of provoking her even more. The woman was bigger than me, and we were starting to draw a lot of attention, so I gave in.
She had experienced the Eff-Off Reflex first hand.
Truss’ writing is witty, and in between laughing – and identifying – with abysmally rude incidents, the intrusions of mobiles and iPods into communal space, and the demise of courteousness, the book is a thought-provoking statement on modern civilization.
Chuckles aside her ranting and raving about society is concerning, and it’s high time someone made us sit up and take notice.
“This book is, obviously, a big, systematic moan about modern life, Truss wrote. “And the expression, ‘Talk to the hand’ sort of yokes it all together. ‘Talk to the hand’ specifically alludes to a response of staggering rudeness best known from “The Jerry Springer Show – ‘Talk to the hand, coz the face ain’t listening,’ accompanied by an aggressive palm held out at arm’s length. I chose it for the title because it’s the way I’ve started to see the world.
And she’s not alone.
Talk to the Hand: The Utter Blood Rudeness of Everyday Life (or six good reasons to stay at home and bolt the door)By Lynne TrussProfile Books, hardback
Available at the Diwan bookshop in Zamalek.
