Coffee talk: eavesdropping remedy from the Gulf

Jumana Shehata
7 Min Read

It is like watching scenes from a foreign movie in no particular order but still being able to make out some story.

That is the wonderful entertainment value of going to a coffee shop to escape the world’s problems.

Here I felt lost in translation.

Lines of people, all sizes walking in and out, children, men, women but the color black exhausts my eyes and makes me feel hot and makes getting a coffee a very tiring ordeal.

But I stop behind two young women and I am paralyzed on the spot.

“Are you the person that chooses to solve the puzzle games over watching a movie on a flight, Dhabia smiled to her friend, and continued, “And what would you take if your house was set on fire and you had two minutes to get out the door, would that be the same item you would take before leaving your house each morning?

“Wow, Dhabia these are heavy questions. I mean why did you ask him these questions? Maysa asked her friend.

“Well, we are meeting to see whether we will spend the rest of our lives together, of course it’s important for me to know everything I can.

Shifting closer to Dhabia with her chair, Maysa asked “and what did he say? Are you going to marry him? Did he answer right?

Dhabia laughed, well I liked all his answers, except one. Can you believe when I asked him if he had only one year left to live how he would spend it and he told me that he would probably spend it getting treated in hospital as that may increase his chances of life.

“La’ you’re joking! Maysa exclaimed. “And so what did you decide?

“I won’t marry him. I mean if he is so technical about his life and has no crazy urge to spend the little time he has with his wife and kids, well …

Nodding in agreement, Maysa pointed to her friend to drink her coffee.

“The truth is Maysa I don’t want to marry him because he eats in a very messy way, and you know how picky I am, I can’t stand it, I end up getting nervous and not wanting to see him again, Dhabia blurted out.

I realize I am still standing in the same spot; I feel stupid and look for the closest table.

A woman in a broken Chinese-English accent was waving to a man entering the coffee shop, “come sit nessst to me dear

He did as told, held up a paper, while she spent the next ten minutes, poking him, shoving him, hitting him lightly on the leg, and he read on.

A group of students caught my attention.

“The Egyptian man that died before completing his Phd, I wonder what they will pay his family, “Haram, his wife and he has a baby, it will be hard.

“I wouldn’t mind they take my wife and baby, and give me a million dollars.

A woman rushed to a table with a man next to me, clearly a local, with her hair falling out of her black clothing, spilt her coffee while sitting down and started crying.

“Sorry I am late. And sorry to call you last minute, but you are the only person I can talk to. “What happened; is everything OK? He asked

“Yes its Ahmed.

He took the cigarette out of his mouth, with smoke forming circles, “Listen, I told you I don’t want to know any of that, sorry!

“But Habibi, Khalas I don’t want to marry him. I just don’t know what to tell my family or him.

He pushed his chair out in anger, “I am suffocated, I will go.

She followed.

It seems that no one goes for a coffee solo here, and I felt the need to walk around as the air conditioning was too strong, so I went to ask for a coffee.

An older group caught my attention next to the counter.

“Hani tell them what happened to you. Tell them, Tamer pleaded grabbing onto his shirt.

Hani looked around for reassurance, and found none with Jessie tying her shoe lace, Ibrahim getting up to get sugar, but went ahead anyway.

“You know I just arrived from a commonwealth country, and they told me at the airport I don’t need a visa, and I can get a transit visa for 96 hours on arrival, and that is all I wanted before going home, so I can just drop by and see you guys.

Tamer started making circular motions with his hands signaling to his friend to speed up the process.

“So to cut a long story short, I am walking in after a long flight with presents, standing in a long line, my luggage on the other side and I can see it, and they would not let me through.

Tamer sipped his coffee, now realizing he had the spot light, “they kept sending me from immigration, to visas to the airlines, I had promised that even if they let me in I would not come in even though I paid an extra couple of thousands to stop by and see you.’

Another sip, “Anyway, when they realized they would not get rid of me, they let me through, I mean it’s their fault, “

“Ma’am, your coffee has gone cold, I will get you another, the waiter said picking up my mug.

A big woman bumped me as she knelt to pick up her shopping bags.

“Make it ‘to go’ I smiled.

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