CAIRO: When Gamal Taher, a 35-year-old accountant, divorced his wife just before they moved to their new home, he didn’t imagine he would consider enlisting the services of a matchmaking office to help him choose a new life partner.
His former bride was his neighbor, which made the arrangement simpler. This time, however, Gamal isn’t spoilt for choice but he was adamant in rubbishing the idea of visiting one of those establishments when it was suggested by his friends.
Others finding themselves in similar situations may have the same opinion.
But with an increasing percentage of failed marriages and the harder it gets to meet new people, more and more “marriage offices ­­- as they are known in Egypt – have sprouted across the city, offering matchmaking services to help men and women find their future partner.
In the past, people questioned the integrity of the procedures employed at these offices, and they were quickly dismissed as a legitimate way for eligible bachelors to meet.
“I agree, not all these offices provide genuine services to applicants, says Dr El Walid El Adel, owner and manager of Universal for Social Services said Nasr City, the first matchmaking service to operate in the capital. It claims to be the only one licensed by the Ministry of Social Affairs.
El Adel, a university professor who volunteered to play matchmaker, said, “I would be contradicting myself if I called for banning matchmaking services when I run one. Although their services are badly needed, the person who takes the initiative to start one has to be highly qualified for such a sensitive task.
But many people are still uncomfortable with using the matchmaking services. Elham Mahmoud, who is 38 and married with two children, said “I wouldn’t really recommend it for my brother or sister. Just because the matchmaking [office employees] jot down all the information about a potential groom or bride does not guarantee a successful match. They usually introduce people to each other and leave the rest to the applicants.
Isa Bakhit, a 29-year-old bachelor, once saw a television program that followed several young people as they enlisted the services of these matchmaking offices. With a large number of applicants, clients have to pay every time they meet a new candidate. Unfortunately, none of these people were able to find their match, says Bakhit.
“Those who think that you can generate profit out of launching a matchmaking service will be mistaken, said Khaled El Adly, owner of Tazweeg in Hadayek El Maadi. “We don’t receive as many applicants as some think so we [don’t] make a decent profit. Most owners have other jobs on the side.
Ahmed El Kholi, who owns El Dawlia Matchmaking Service located in Helwan, said “don’t forget this is a business so we have to charge the clients in return for our services, which they wouldn’t be able to get elsewhere.
“Our duty is not restricted to marrying off young people. We also work with widows and widowers, divorcees and men looking for second wives. These people cannot simply knock on people’s doors asking if there is anyone available for marriage.
“Most men are busy with their careers and the majority of women are shy and conservative, says El Adly, “we mediate between both groups.
After that, El Kholi notes, “our job ends and it’s up to the candidates to tie the knot or go their [separate] way.
Azza manager of Al Safwa, said: “I agree some might be inhibited by the idea of a matchmaking service but in the end it is up to the candidate to decide if he wished to choose his life partner through it or not.
Some statistics claim that divorce rates have increased significantly over the past years, so has the number of single women above the age of 30.
“Regrettably the [marriage] crisis has been caused by the absence of intimate relationships that used to exist among relatives, neighbors and friends, explained El Adel. Nowadays, he says, people are more secluded
“That could be true to some extent, said Dr Azza Kurraim of the National Center for Social and Criminal Research. “The root cause remains economic: people don’t get married because they can’t afford to, which affects people’s choice of partner. For example, a poor man may choose to marry a rich woman or someone who is not financially demanding.
“Marriage is such a critical issue; we can’t simply make a business out of it. It gets dangerous when the information about the candidates is not properly verified, as is the case in matchmaking services, says the researcher.
“Good intention are not enough to make [the service] successful. These offices can function properly only with a staff of qualified social workers, psychiatrists and sociologists, which is something these private matchmaking services usually cannot afford, Kurraim explained.
She pointed to special departments within civil society organizations that specialize in arranging marriages, all of which are staffed by experts that operate under the auspices of the Ministry of Social Affairs.
On that note, El Adel stressed that private matchmaking services are a reality that cannot be ignored any longer. He admitted instances of malpractice by some matchmaking offices, and offered tips for candidates and their parents.
“If you think a matchmaking service is the last resort, visit several offices. Don’t choose one at random. Don’t hesitate to ask the owner to show you his ID, or ask to see the office’s license. You should also ask them to tell you the history of the office. A proper place can’t be run by a single or a divorced person. You should refuse to meet the other party unless you’re provided the proper documents.
El Adel says he called the owners of other offices in an attempt to get them to agree on a unified code of ethics, however, he says “most of them chickened out, which is proof that they are only interested in profit.
“Despite the increasing number of offices, people still feel uneasy about using these services, said Dr Nadra Wahdan, a sociologist at the National Planning Institute. “They feel they are offering themselves like a commodity, said Wahdan.
“A better idea is singles clubs like the ones that have been set up in some European and Asian countries, which bring together people who want to get married. As they frequent the club, they get to know each other over a longer period of time, which reduces the chances of deception.
Ali (who asked to have his name changed), is 66. He headed to one of the matchmaking offices in search of a widow with an apartment. He’s healthy, but he had to move a nursing home after his children left the country. “I couldn’t stay alone so I sold my apartment and went to live with people my age. But it turned out to be boring. I need company, said Karam.
Maher (who also asked to use an alias) went to a matchmaking office in search of a second wife. “There is no hope for my first wife to get pregnant. She’s the one who pushed me to it. The situation is sensitive and we can’t arrange this type of marriage through friends or acquaintances.
Perhaps matchmaking services may help these people in their search for a companion.
