The hamburger is one of the most popular foods in the world. Since its inception in mid- to late-19th century Germany, the simple combination of a slab of ground beef enclosed within two bread buns has won the hearts and palates of peoples the world over. From paupers to presidents, and Michelin star chefs in between, everyone enjoys a good hamburger.
So when my editor charged me with finding Cairo’s best burger, I was under no illusions as to the gravity of the task. Resting in my hands was a responsibility to do justice not just to those of us living in Cairo, but to hamburger lovers everywhere.
In order to ensure a rigorous and purely hamburger-focused evaluation procedure, characteristics otherwise relevant to the quality of the burger-eating ritual such as the restaurant’s service, ambience and décor, as well as accompaniments like fries and salads, were excluded in favor of elements directly pertaining to the burger.
Marks were awarded for the quality of bun, freshness of vegetables, choice of condiments, juiciness and flavor of the beef, and presentation.
From a personal point of view, reviewing Cairo’s burgers was both a great privilege, and a great deal of pressure. There were dizzying highs and terrifying lows, but one thing is for sure – I came out of this experience a changed man. Not least in terms of my waistline.
And the resultant guide, I hope, will serve to enrich the eating experience of Cairo’s hamburger-loving denizens for many meals to come.
“Worst Burger award: Chilli’s Zamalek
The waiters at Chilli’s advised me to try a burger going by the name of the Old Timer, with cheddar cheese, tomatoes, lettuce, onions, pickles and mustard. A couple of bites in I concluded that the Old Timer’s title was really the only thing Chilli’s got right- this was certainly not a burger in the prime of its life.
Aside from the fact that there was no mustard, but instead some condiment that looked like, but didn’t in any way taste like, mayonnaise, the bun was tough and a bit stale, and the beef fillet overcooked and tasteless. The vegetables too, were limp and lacking any flavor. Ringing in at LE 37 after taxes, Chilli’s Old Timer could only be described as the nouveau riche of hamburgers: It looks nice on the menu and costs plenty, but is sorely lacking taste and class.
“Strangely Disappointing Burger award: Harry’s Pub at the Cairo Marriott, Zamalek
In recent years many British public houses evolved into gastro-pubs – serving a variety of high-quality dishes – for the simple reason that pub-owners understood that people having a few drinks wanted to line their stomachs with something tasty, as opposed to low-rate pub grub. Judging by their utterly average and overpriced (LE 38) Steak Burger, Harry’s Pub is still dragging its knuckles in the pub-grub stage of evolution.
The onions, lettuce and tomatoes were fresh and crispy, and they give you a choice of ketchup and mustard, but it would take a lot more to inject life into the insipid beef fillet, and ultimately uninspiring prospect I was presented with. It might fill you up while watching football on a Saturday afternoon, but don’t expect anything more.
“Honorable Mention Burger award: Casper & Gambini’s, Towers Mall With its chic café-cum-restaurant style, C&G’s is as suited to a quick coffee with a friend as a working lunch with a business associate. Similarly, the C&G’s burger (LE 27) would pass for both a quick bite and a more serious dinner proposition. I admit to being skeptical when I saw the burger described on the menu as a “beef patty, served in a “sesame seed burger bun with “grainy mustard. I worried that the C&G’s burger had pretensions to be something greater than it really was; that, like an abstract work of art, it would possess a deeper meaning I didn’t care to figure out.
My suspicions were misplaced. The buns were soft and flavorsome, ensconcing the freshest vegetables, and a chunky, well-grilled fillet; and the mustard mayonnaise I cynically wrote off gave the sandwich a wonderful kick. Neatly presented, the C&G’s burger was certainly different, but in no way pretentious. Unlike the Old Timer, this burger knew what it was doing, and though it fell far short of excellence, it deserves respect in its own right.
“Runner-up Burger award: Lucille’s, Maadi
Few if any places in Cairo come as highly recommended for their burgers as Lucille’s on Road 9 in Maadi. By the time I walked through the doors, friends, colleagues and even Time Magazine had me believing that eating a burger here would constitute a profound and life-altering experience. I would see beautiful colors and experience timelessness, before achieving hamburger Nirvana, such that I would never want to eat a burger from anywhere else again. Minus the hallucinations, they were right.
I ordered the mighty Colossus Burger (LE 41), which is made up of two sizeable burger fillets, seared and then grilled to perfection, sandwiched in between soft, lightly toasted buns, served with cheese, mayonnaise and fresh -apparently organic – veggies. As I bit into the almighty colossus, and was overwhelmed by the initial pang of flavor, I felt that this was destined to be the winner. The no-nonsense Colossus is amongst the finest burgers I have ever tasted, and as my friend assisted me out of the restaurant afterward, I genuinely wondered if there was any point to further burger-tasting.
“Best Burger award: Crave Zamalek
I was still thinking about (and probably still digesting) the Colossus a couple of days later as I walked into Crave in Zamalek. It would take something truly special to have any hope of dislodging the Colossus from the number one spot. Nevertheless, I approached Crave’s burger menu with an open mind.
The Zombie burger (at a very reasonable LE 26) with cheese and a slice of beef bacon certainly sounded promising, but would it be enough? Well, in addition to the light pepper sauce seasoning, the fresh tomatoes, onions and mushrooms, and tangy sautéed vegetables, yes, actually. It would.
The beef was thick, tender and delightfully juicy, and the delicious pepper seasoning lent it the class of a fillet steak. The inclusion of sautéed vegetables was a venture that could have gone horribly awry, but instead proved to be a great success. Apart from surpassing the basic requirements for excellence, the Zombie demonstrated the flair and imagination of an extraordinary hamburger. It is therefore with some surprise, but without a trace of doubt, that I can say Crave’s Zombie burger is the best in Cairo. Long live the Zombie.
