With a Grain of Salt: Of Threads and MPs

Daily News Egypt
5 Min Read

One of the best things that happened at the meeting between French President Nicola Sarkozy, intellectuals and businessmen during his recent visit to Egypt was that he was accompanied by an extraordinary, angelic creature called Carla Bruni.

It was hard to imagine how this creature treaded the same ground we walked on or breathed the same air we breathed.

Some call her Sarkozy’s girlfriend, while government newspapers call her his fiancé, even though what’s between them goes beyond mere friendship and may not necessarily lead to marriage. Sarkozy’s competitor in the presidential race Ségolène Royal, for instance, lived with the chief of the French Socialist Party François Hollande for years and had two sons with him out of wedlock before their relationship ended just a few months ago.

So I agree completely with the Member of the People’s Assembly, who, spurred by strong religious and nationalistic sentiments and a deep concern for his people’s interests, posed a question at the assembly regarding the nature of the relationship between Egypt’s important guest and that extraordinary creature with him.

“Did they or did they not share a room at their hotels in Luxor in Sharm El Sheikh? inquired the MP.

I disagree with those who believe that our religion – in the name of which this MP was speaking – does not encourage such despicable interference in other people’s affairs. Those same people use incidents from the Prophet’s life as evidence that Islam is a religion of mercy and tolerance, such as the story of the man who repeatedly confessed to adultery and demanded punishment but was told by the Prophet that since he has repented, God has forgiven him. They also cite the story of the adulterous couple whose punishment people demanded, but were told by the Prophet: “Did you try to pass a thread between their bodies but couldn’t do so?

The zealous MP certainly has the right to know everything about this delicate creature Carla Bruni who appeared in photographs with Egypt’s important guest. It is also his right to know where she slept and what she was doing all night. This does not, in any way constitute interference in other people’s business, but it’s the reason why his constituency voted for him in the first place.

Did he (along with the other reverent and faithful MPs like him) not eradicate poverty; solve the housing, subsidies and unemployment crises; go on to tackle issues of personal freedom, setting up a true democracy and improving the state of party politics; and bolster the press which is now only concerned with issues that really matter to people and shies away from triviality and gossip?

People everywhere are now talking about the efforts of this MP and other reverent and faithful MPs like him to end corruption and bureaucracy – he has even exterminated the traffic problem!

Surely, now that he has delivered all the promises he had made to those who elected him, he can focus on the most vital issues that will determine our future like the nature of the romantic relationship between Nicola Sarkozy and Carla Bruni, with details about their sleeping arrangements, preferably backed up with photographs or at least illustrations.

In fact he has the right to find out for himself if the famed “thread will indeed pass, unobstructed, between the bodies of two people stuck to each other, as were our guests throughout their visit.

I even learnt that our reverent MP, spurred of course by strong religious and nationalistic sentiments and a deep concern for his people’s interests, went to parliament the other day carrying a piece of red thread in his pocket.

He was, indeed, looking forward to receiving the honor of undertaking this investigation on behalf of the venerable council – in fact, on behalf of the Egyptian people and other Muslim nations perturbed by this crucial issue as they have never been troubled by any other issue before.

With that he would clearly be performing his duty towards God, country, religion and many other things.

Mohamed Salmawy is President of the Arab Writer’s Union and editor-in-chief of Al-Ahram Hebdo. This article is syndicated in the Arabic press.

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