The telephone rang in my office at the Writers’ Union.
“You don’t know who I am, the caller said, “but I’ve heard that you will be receiving the ruler of Sharjah Emirate Sheikh Sultan Bin Mohamed Al Qassimi at the Writers’ Union and I’d like to attend that party.
“It’s not a party, I said. “It’s a closed meeting of the Writers’ Union board of directors with the ruler of Sharjah. He is the author of about 20 books including plays and novels and has made a generous donation to the Union’s health and pensions fund and so we will present him with an honorary membership.
“I only need to meet him in private for five minutes before the event, he pleaded.
“Are you a member of the Writers’ Union? I asked.
“No, he said. “But I have a personal problem I wish to discuss with His Highness. I heard that he made quite a huge donation to the Union. “It seems that you’re facing a financial problem, I said.
“God forbid, not at all, he said. “It’s just about a small job request. “I don’t believe this would be the right time or place to request a job from the Sheikh.
“Just tell me when he’ll be here, he said.
“It hasn’t been decided yet. We will know in a few days.
“So I’ll keep calling back until the date is set, he said.
Then another person called to tell me about the entomology book he wished Sheikh Sultan to print at his expense.
“But that’s a personal request, I said.
“No it’s not personal. There are tens if not hundreds who have problems publishing their books. I can bring them all with me to that meeting.
A lady from Ismailia also called the other day to tell me the story of her son-in-law who works in Sharjah but makes much less than what her annoying neighbor’s son-in-law makes. She’d heard so much about His Highness’ chivalry and was hoping he would interfere in person to help her out.
“I heard that he loves Egypt where he received his education and loves all Egyptians whom he treats like his own family, she said.
“Please madam, let’s try to keep it that way and forget about the problem you have with your annoying neighbor, I replied.
“What do you want me to do then? she said.
“It would be far better if you did nothing at all, I said.
Then I received an email from a Sharjah citizen where he described in detail the terrible injustice he was subjected to in his workplace. He concluded by saying that he was certain that if Sheikh Sultan knew about his problem, he would solve it immediately. He would have flown to Cairo himself to meet His Highness in person had he not been bed-ridden in a Sharjah hospital.
At least he spared me the phone call, I said to myself, but on the very same day, I received a call on my mobile phone. The caller spoke in a typical Sharjah accent.
“I’m the one who sent you the email from Sharjah, he said.
“I’ve been waiting impatiently for your call, I replied.
“Why? Were you able to solve my problem?
“No. I just wanted to ask: Isn’t there a more appropriate place than the Egyptian Writers’ Union to approach Sheikh Sultan? He will be visiting many other places during his trip to Egypt, such as his alma mater Cairo University, I said.
“Yes I know that, he said, “but what’s the address or the rector of the university’s telephone number?
“I don’t know about the telephone number but the address is in Giza.
“Is it near the zoo?
“Yes, I replied. “Why don’t you have your complaint sent to him over there?
“Where? At the zoo?
“It’s all the same, sir, I said. “If things continue this way, it will all seem like at the zoo or even at the circus.
“Is the Sheikh also visiting the circus? he asked.
“I hope he won’t find himself in one without meaning to, I said.
Mohamed Salmawyis President of the Arab Writer’s Union and Editor-in-Chief of Al-Ahram Hebdo. This article is syndicated in the Arabic press.
