As I stood withy publisher Ibrahim El Moallem and a current cabinet minister at a reception, a photographer rudely intruded asking us to pose and stare at the camera as he snapped a shot. But El Moallem and I were astonished when the photographer subsequently took us aside and asked to know the name of our companion to put it on the photo caption!
El Moallem laughed heartily while I looked incredulously at the photographer.
“We stopped our conversation and smiled at your camera, showing due respect for a professional photographer who takes pictures of public figures; then it turns out that you don’t even know the identity of people you’re photographing! I told him.
“You and Mr. El Moallem are public figures, he said defensively. “I know that well enough, but I am asking about the off-putting man who was with you. Are you trying to tell me that he’s public figure too?
I was just about to tell him that the man he was pointing at was a cabinet minister, but he irritated me so much that I said, “You have every right not to recognize him. He’s a special envoy from the Republic of Zrombistan which recently seceded from the Soviet Union. He was delegated to Egypt by the President of Zrombistan to initiate diplomatic relations between the independent Republic of Zrombistan and the Arab Republic of Egypt.
I then added, “Mind, that this is still a secret mission which will not be announced until he meets with President Mubarak and they agree to establish diplomatic exchange.
The photographer’s eyes sparkled as he produced a pen and paper and asked permission to publish what I just told him.
“Well, it’s all very secret, you know.
“All the more reason to publish it, he said.
As he hurried to jot down every word I uttered in his small notepad, he added, “See how my question was spot on. If I hadn’t asked, I would have missed the scoop.
He smiled as he noted how his editor-in-chief will be thrilled over that piece of news.
“I assure you that your will be an unexpected reward, but don’t spoil it by revealing your source. You must make it look as if you made all the effort to get the story without help from anyone, I said.
“Do you think you can help me get an interview with the special Zrombistani envoy, he asked.
“Do you speak Zrombistani? I asked.
“Unfortunately not, but I know few words in English.
“Well, he only speaks Zrombistani and a bit of French. Besides, he’s here on a secret mission so he’s not authorized to give media interviews until he receives the final official approval on diplomatic exchange from Egypt. And if you speak to him about it in French or even in Zrombistani, he may deny the whole thing and you’ll lose your scoop, I said.
After a moment of reflection, the photographer said, “I could have sworn that this off-putting face is an Egyptian one. I only needed someone to remind me of his name.
Ibrahim El Moallem started laughing out loud. There, quickly told the photographer, “As you know, the people of Zrombistan have Arab roots because Zrombistan came under Tartar rule. The Tartars used to bring their Arab war prisoners to Zrombistan to cultivate its massive areas of agricultural land. Over time the Arabs settled there to form the majority of Zrombistanis.
The photographer took out his note pad once again, and as he took down this nugget of historical wisdom, he said, “This envoy must have Egyptian roots.his features seem quite familiar.
“Don’t waste any more time, I urged him. “Rush to the newspaper before your editor gets wind of the news through someone else.
“You’re absolutely right, he said as he whisked out of the reception without saying goodbye to anyone.
The minister had noticed our side conversation interrupted by Ibrahim El Moallem’s intermittent laughs and began looking at us quizzically.
“Can you believe Your Excellency, that this photographer neither did he recognize the President of the Publishers’ Union nor the Head of the Writers’ Union. He wanted to know the names of the two men with the minister.
“Naturally, said the minister. “That’s the trouble with the press nowadays. All they care about are ministers; what they eat, where they go and who they talk to!
“True, I replied. “Had Your Excellency not condescended to speak to us, that reporter wouldn’t have noticed us or asked for our names.
Mohamed Salmawy is President of the Arab Writers’ Union and Editor-in-Chief of Al-Ahram Hebdo.
