Back to my regular coffee table.
For the sake of change, I settle on a guiltless tuna sandwich and orange juice and get out my eavesdropping and writing gear. With a sleepless night behind me and a long day ahead, I look forward to anything to perk me up.
“If you do not want me to drink it tell me! Ha? Tell me Ahmed loudly said to the waiter.
“Not at all sir, I was just suggesting other things.
“Don’t suggest, I am the client, I suggest, mafhoom?
“Ana ma sodsh, hader, I am sorry.’
Ahmed went back to his seat and took a call, “Hi. Yes, how are you? No, I am out. Yes, OK, sweets, I will call you later.
His female partner waited impatiently and finally said, “So who was that?
“A friend, Ahmed replied with a smile and waved to the waiter.
“This is great, this thing am eating is great, he said sarcastically.
The waiter smiled stiffly, not knowing whether he was being given a compliment or an insult.
“It will break my teeth, this biscotti is horrid.
“Sorry sir, the waiter responded.
“And why do you have a menu if half the sandwiches are not there? Ahmed added to his list of complaints.
“Waiter, switch off the air conditioning Ahmed called out, “She’s cold, seemingly referring to his parnter.
I would definitely vote him the most annoying person to sit next to on a plane I thought to myself.
Still half asleep I ordered a coffee, orange juice is not enough to kick start me.
Two men walked in and sat next to each other – not in front of each other – on a rather small table. “Hmm, I thought to myself, and I listened on as Strangers in the Night played in the background.
“Hosni, I don’t believe she did that. It was meant to be a joke. We had a fight, a regular one, and I said if you are not happy khalis, find someone else, and she did just that. Can you believe?
Hosni found this to be funny, and his friend Samer was getting annoyed. “What happened?
“She stopped taking my calls, answering my messages, e-mails, nothing. Eventually she answered, and when I asked to see her, she said, No, there is someone else. I did not believe her, so she gave me his name.
Samer stopped and looked at his friend while swirling his keychain around, “And sure enough, I went on Face Book, did a search and found him. He is 32, a doctor, and even good looking.
“How can I get her back?
An older group cut off the conversation, as they sat down in front of me and continued in their conversation.
“So Randa will you tell us how the katb el ketab was?
Randa smiled, “It was fine.
“Come on, fine is not good enough. We want details. What color was her dress? Alia asked annoyingly,
“Forget Randa, she won’t say anything but I read in a magazine, I don’t remember which, that it was beige, Noha said proudly.
“Really?
Mohamed aggravated, complained, All that concerns you is the dress. What difference does it make if its poker dot or zebra?
“What I can not understand is why two hours away by plane they are randomly collecting all the laborers on my project? he asked.
Irritated, he continued, “It’s supposed to be a wedding in Sharm El Sheikh, and we have work to finish, every time there is a bomb or a bomb scare, they come and take our people, and the work stops, but now?
Holding up a paper, he points at it as he continues his diatribe. Then they speak of the Red Sea and the need to expand and make resorts.
Randa is quick to answer, “No, no, it’s not the wedding that is causing the commotion, its the conference.
The group decides to sit outside, and two young ladies replace them.
They ordered coffee, and sat in silence for minutes.
I entertained myself looking at a man in his sixties maybe. He was holding a paper up high, at least at arms length, in the direction of the sun, while trying to drink his coffee with his free hand – don’t ask.
At last, one of the girls speak up, just as I was starting to feel I was going insane, watching the handsfree coffee scene.
“Mai, I decided to give Ashraf another chance.
Putting her coffee cup down, Mai responded, “But Mary, after all you’ve been through because of him, why?
“I did listen to everyone, and I met 3 men, and each was a disaster!
Mary laughing explains, “One tells me he is sewing a shirt for his cat for next winter, the other tells me I had to take a taxi back at 11 pm, because its not right that he drives me back, for my reputation.
Mai listens, fiddling in her bag and laughing at the same time.
“And the only half decent one informs me towards the end of the date as I was getting out of the car, that he is in fact 28 not 34 and has a kid, just when I had started to think there was still one normal one out there.
Finally, Mai smiles with satisfaction as if finding a jewel, she says brining out a photo, “What do you think of him? Listen you have to be practical, you know we are not 18. Remember that lecture in church? He is perfect, and will be here next month, he is Mark’s cousin.
“Mai, enough.
Every time I come to get my coffeeshop eavesdropping dose to keep me going for the coming week I always think I have heard it all. Each time I m proven wrong. Observing people has to be the most entertaining activity I have done in recent years.
