There seems to be a general attitude among Egyptian women that problems that occur in the home should remain there. In a series of conversations with a group of average Egyptian women we were able to gain some insight into what goes on behind closed doors and why marital problems rarely seem to leave the home. What was most striking, however, is not the terrible situation which abused women must endure, but the dramatic impact which marital arguing and abuse has on children. The stories of these women were all strikingly similar regardless of age. The following stories come from Cairene women with varying levels of education.
Our first narrative comes from an elderly woman, called Zakia. Zakia is over 70 and although her husband is not alive she recalls his brutal treatment of her throughout their marriage.
Zakia pointed to a scar on her forehead and described how her husband had pushed her against the bed post decades ago. Her daughter, who was standing by her side, claimed that there where many incidents in which her mother was nearly killed. The woman continued to vividly describe a few of the many incidents in which she had been beaten by her husband. When asked why she never left, Zakia said that she had tried but the thought of her young children at home always brought her back. Without an education, Zakia had no way to support herself or her children and had no choice but to deal with abuse for the sake of her children’s future.
Our next narrative is that of 49-year-old Rasha.
Rasha has been married for 30 years. She explains that in the beginning her marriage was wonderful and that her husband loved her and had always taken care of her. Over the past five years, however, things changed. Rasha explains that her husband began to curse and beat her. Her religious nature prevented her from responding in a similar manner.
She has two married children and two daughters who still live at home. The older daughter, Iman, is engaged to be married in a year, while the younger is a middle school student. Iman finds her life at home with her parents unbearable and has threatened to hurt herself.
Rasha’s son has offered to have his mother live with him. However, if she leaves, she will be leaving behind her two daughters with the father. She refuses to get a divorce and leave her husband out of concern that others will not want to marry her daughters out of fear that the girls will leave their home, as their mother did.
It is also difficult for her to imagine her life without a husband. “A man is like a pyramid, she says, “if he is gone you have nothing to lean on. Desperate for a solution, she asks for suggestions. It is however difficult to instruct someone to choose between their own happiness and their children’s future. For now, Rasha simply plays recordings of the Quran at home and hopes for a better life.
Our third narrative comes from 17-year-old Safaa, the youngest daughter of parents who she says are constantly fighting. “If a day passes by when my parents do not yell or hit each other, something is wrong.
Marital arguing and abuse drove Safaa to attempt suicide by jumping off a fifth floor balcony. Safaa is now paraplegic.
The stories of women with broken arms and beaten faces are many, yet all of these women feel that they have no choice but to endure the hardships brought upon them by their husbands. Even more tragic are the stories of the children who feel that they cannot escape the abuse they witness.
Safaa explained that even as she lay on her hospital bed, her parents fought in front of her. For children like Safaa, it is too late to fix the past. But for Rasha’s daughter and the many who are affected by marital abuse, society must find a solution.
Sara Mousais a student at Princeton University, and a tentative major in the Near Eastern Studies Department. Shaymaa Mousa is a Cairo University Medical school graduate.
